Text messaging your kids…
My son and I had a really good chat the other nite. We worked through issues of taking reposibility for your actions and controlling your temper. We got to the bottom of a subject of great debate “If I kick my sister with a gentle push and not a full force kick, and she konks her head on something because she looses her balance, is that an accident or not?”
Not! A kick, albeit a ‘gentle push,’ still landed her head into a cabinet door.
This entire exchange is interesting, but not because of the sibling harrassment. It’s interesting because the truth didn’t come out when Dad verbally asked. It came out when Mom probed with a series of text messages inside of World of Warcraft.
Having heard the ruckus from my workstation downstairs, I sent my son an in game message:
<< Loud noises and yelling from upstairs....>>
Mom: “What was all that about?”
Kid: “Dad thinks I kicked my sister on purpose.”
Mom: “Well, did you?”
Kid: “No. I just put out my foot and she fell.”
Mom: “Um, restate that sentence so it makes more sense.”
Kid: “She’s not mad or hurt or anything.”
Mom: “That’s not restating your statement. Did you kick her?”
Kid: “Well, it was really a gentle push, not a full force kick.”
Mom: “Aha! So you kicked her?”
Kid: “Well, ya.”
Mom: “Dude, stop being a punk. Apologize to your sister and to your dad.”
Kid: “Ok. I did apologize to her. I’ll talk to dad.”
pause
Kid: “I’m sorry mom.”
–
During the pause, he send an text message to his dad:
Kid: “I’m sorry, Dad.
Kid: “I was acting like a puk.”
Kid: “Gak, I mean punk - I can’t spell.”
–
Something about instant messaging is clear, pointed, and doesn’t carry the emotional tension of a confrontation. No knee jerk reactions, just a real conversation. Text messaging made this conversation go very well, and in the end, we had an earnest dialogue.
If you game with your kids, don’t hesitate to talk to them in game. Oh, and save the chat logs, too. 
